


Cursed

by A Sirius Crush On Moony (Obsession137)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 20:51:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4073479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsession137/pseuds/A%20Sirius%20Crush%20On%20Moony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"My love for him was beyond anything I could have possibly imagined. It hit me like a curse and worked its way into my heart until it disguised itself as a beautiful blessing. I should have known, though. I should have remembered. It was a curse."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cursed

My love for him was beyond anything I could have possibly imagined. It hit me like a curse and worked its way into my heart until it disguised itself as a beautiful blessing. I should have known, though. I should have remembered. It was a curse.

He gave me signs. Not intentionally. In fact, he never even knew how I felt at that point. He would grin at me in that way that made my heart melt, and he would say "I love you" and for some reason I thought it meant he was  _in_  love with me.

No, I should have known.

The way he prattled on about Lily. I let it slip through my mind like water slipping through my fingers. I always thought his "love" for Lily was a cover-up.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He loved me as a best friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Sirius," he said. "I don't know what I'd do without you. You're my best mate."

I grinned like an idiot and tricked my mind into believing he was admitting his feelings. I would go to bed on nights like these with the biggest smile on my face, and dream dreams of the two of us together.

Remus had been the first to catch onto my feelings. He had pulled me aside and confronted me.

"Sirius," he had said. "I see the way you look at James."

I laughed it off, but he persisted. When I confided in Remus, I was greeted with a sympathetic smile and a hug.

I wondered why he was so pessimistic – I was a glass half full kind of person.

The day I told James I was in love with him was both the greastest day of my life and the worst day of my life.

He had laughed. He had thought it was a joke. He had then realised I wasn't making this up.

We had stared at one another in awkward silence until he kissed me.

It was a quick kiss, but it had sparked every tiny ounce of hope that had ever been in my brain and set it off like a firework.

And then the kiss was over and James was frowning.

"I'm straight."

The dreaded words.

"I love you, but only as a friend. As a brother."

Those words cut through me like a knife.  _Straight, friend, brother._  Three words that drained my hope away in a second like a black hole, sucking life away.

I was left sucked dry. I was cursed. I was broken.


End file.
